John Edwards in the unique position of being courted by two suitors. One Caucasian, fair haired and of the aristocracy, the other dark complected, and new to power.
John: Fair Hillary, you of the aristocracy, you are vetted and tough. You come here seeking my votes. I only ask this of you - if you're serious about cracking down on corporations, bring me two corporate heads.
Hillary: Yes, dear maiden.
John: Barack, you are new-blood but determined to be sure. If you truly are believe in the importance of working class jobs, bring me two working factories from anywhere in the U.S
Barack: Yes, dear maiden
And so after hours of struggle both were successful in there respective missions.
They approached Edwards cautiously optimistic.
John: I see you were both successful and are both great candidates. Unfortunately we can't have a tie - so we must have a dance off. First Hillary, then Barack. First round is freestyle, followed by the foxtrot, followed by the running man.
Overwhelmed by John's apparent knowledge of cutting a rug, they both began to do the only dance they each happen to know - the electric slide.
Edwards: I am unimpressed. Please advise.
Hillary to Barack: I happen to have my dance gear underneath my pantssuit!
Barack to Hillary: I happen to have my dance gear underneath my skirt!
Hillary to Barack: We're not really that different afterall!
Barack to Hillary: You're right! Lets dance together.
And so, they danced the night away. Edwards, duly impressed, said for some reason "my dad worked in a saw mill." And with that he flew away never to be seen again.
Hillary to Barack: That didn't make any sense did it?
Barack to Hillary: No. Can't say it did.