Adventures in Personal Space #9: Spoon

Rush hour is never pleasant but if you have a regular schedule you know roughly how crowded your train will be. Today was a bit different, the train was a bit later than normal so it was super crowded.

If you are surrounded by people so close you feel them spooning you is the correct thing to:
a) Give the spooner a good talking to?
b) As the involuntary spoony, it's rush hour so you bear it?
c) Turn around and hug them directly, so as to freak them out, thereby getting them to give you some space?

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #9

Daysleeper = Subway rider who falls asleep holding onto the subway poll while standing up.

As the train moves, the daysleeper will inadvertently lean one way or the other onto other riders or potentially hitting their head against the pole itself. In this scenario do you:
1) Allow the daysleeper leaning head to rest against your hand which is already holding the pole?
2) Allow the daysleeper to hit his head on the pole so you and fellow passengers can all enjoy a good laugh?

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #8

I saw the strangest thing the other day. A stranger got on our crowded A express train. As she made her way to the pole to steady herself, she started engaging people in conversation - and she wasn't crazy!? By the end, everyone was smiling, laughing and chatting away. Was I taking the subway to a friendly bizzaro world? No, just Brooklyn.

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #7

So lets say you're already making a transfer at Hoyt-Schemorhorn because of the MTA's dubious construction projects on your regular F line route. After making the switch to the G which is acting as an F a weird guy gets on. (Generally weird guys will stay in your car for one, max two stops). This weird guy though starts to preach fire and brimstone style in a booming voice and asks the captive audience (us) to repent for our sins. He stays on for 5 stations. 5 really long stations.
Do you:
a) Use the magic of IPod to tune him out by listening to a soothing NPR broadcast reviewing films such as the Science of Sleep?
b) Appreciate weird guy's ability to project his voice and hand him a monologue you've been working on and ask him to present it?
c) Ask him why he isn't switching cars at every stop for the largest possible audience

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #6

Lets say you see a paper sitting across from you. To be polite you ask the person (in this case, a guy with a pulsating vein in his head) sitting in the seat next to the paper if he's using it. He tersely responds: "It's mine. You can borrow it till 7th avenue."

Do you? :
a) Give up your pursuit of the paper and quietly give him dirty looks....till 7th avenue.
b) Though you haven't read it, tell him about all the awesome articles in that issue.
c) Take his paper angrily and proclaim highlander style 'there can be only one.........paper owner.'

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #5

So lets say you're riding the subway and a Mom/Dad gets on with their toddler. The toddler (who will call "Alien") won't shutup. Do you:
a) Ask the parents to quiet him down?
b) Move to the next car?
c) Throw the child from the train and tell the parents that it's for their own good?
d) Go slowly insane, allowing the sounds to meld into one screech?
e) The child is clearly a banshee wishing to be teleported to his real world?

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #4

So lets say someone is reading the paper on the subway next to you. You see an article of interest and begin reading over their shoulder unabashedly. Do they:
a) Skillfully use the paper to give you a nasty papercut?
b) Hand you the paper when they're done?
c) Angle the paper such that you can't read it?
d) Angle the paper such that you can read it?
e) Switch to a section they know you won't be interested in - like sports?

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #3

So lets say you're riding the subway per usual. Some kids get on the car selling candy with the old "unfortunately, we only have peanut M&Ms?" Do you then?

a) A shake them violently and ask "why God why?"
b) Why do you never, ever, ever have anything but Peanut M&Ms? Surely I've caught you at the beginning of your route before

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #2

So lets say you're on your way back from work after an exhausting day. Thankfully, you find a seat in the crowded car. You quickly fall asleep and your head comes to rest on the stranger next to you. Does the stranger?

1) Give you a quick tap on the shoulder?
2) Push you off?
3) Give you a quick shot to the kidney?
4) All you to quietly sleep because, well, you've had a long day?

Adventures in Personal Space: Subway Addition #1

So lets say you're on the subway in the morning per your daily commute. All seats are taken. You see a happy person and you decide to sit down on their lap?

Would the person
a) Shove you off them?
b) Allow you to sit because of fear and/or shock at least for a few moments?