This year since taking up the running goal, I've jogged more in the park than ever before. The weather in the last few weeks has been fantastic <--that's the upshot. The bad part is that plants and trees are blooming and my allergies are bugging out. A passerby might see the tears in my eyes and think I had a transcendent meal of white castles just prior. If it only were so...
Additionally, as the regiment has gone on, my knees have started to bother me. I'm now wearing a knee brace for support. Why I'm falling apart like an old guy!
Feeling (and being) and old guy ain't so bad. If you're old, no one questions you. If I wanted to wear an eyepatch, I'd wear an eyepatch. If I wanted purely cosmetic monocle, I could do that too.
I think being the only runner wearing a monocle would give me a competitive advantage in a marathon because everyone would underestimate me. Like 'Hey squinty! Couldn't afford a whole pair of eyeglasses?' I would reply by saying 'no' then giving them the saddest face they'd ever seen. Then they'd feel bad and the joke would be on them. They won't be laughing when I use the rays of the sun and angle my monocle to burn holes into their lycra shorts!