Thursday, April 24, 2008

Skinny Legs and All: Old Man Raj Edition

This year since taking up the running goal, I've jogged more in the park than ever before. The weather in the last few weeks has been fantastic <--that's the upshot. The bad part is that plants and trees are blooming and my allergies are bugging out. A passerby might see the tears in my eyes and think I had a transcendent meal of white castles just prior. If it only were so...

Additionally, as the regiment has gone on, my knees have started to bother me. I'm now wearing a knee brace for support. Why I'm falling apart like an old guy!

Feeling (and being) and old guy ain't so bad. If you're old, no one questions you. If I wanted to wear an eyepatch, I'd wear an eyepatch. If I wanted purely cosmetic monocle, I could do that too.

I think being the only runner wearing a monocle would give me a competitive advantage in a marathon because everyone would underestimate me. Like 'Hey squinty! Couldn't afford a whole pair of eyeglasses?' I would reply by saying 'no' then giving them the saddest face they'd ever seen. Then they'd feel bad and the joke would be on them. They won't be laughing when I use the rays of the sun and angle my monocle to burn holes into their lycra shorts!

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