Princess John Edwards

John Edwards in the unique position of being courted by two suitors. One Caucasian, fair haired and of the aristocracy, the other dark complected, and new to power.


John: Fair Hillary, you of the aristocracy, you are vetted and tough. You come here seeking my votes. I only ask this of you - if you're serious about cracking down on corporations, bring me two corporate heads.

Hillary: Yes, dear maiden.

John: Barack, you are new-blood but determined to be sure. If you truly are believe in the importance of working class jobs, bring me two working factories from anywhere in the U.S

Barack: Yes, dear maiden

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And so after hours of struggle both were successful in there respective missions.

They approached Edwards cautiously optimistic.

John: I see you were both successful and are both great candidates. Unfortunately we can't have a tie - so we must have a dance off. First Hillary, then Barack. First round is freestyle, followed by the foxtrot, followed by the running man.

Overwhelmed by John's apparent knowledge of cutting a rug, they both began to do the only dance they each happen to know - the electric slide.

Edwards: I am unimpressed. Please advise.

Hillary to Barack: I happen to have my dance gear underneath my pantssuit!
Barack to Hillary: I happen to have my dance gear underneath my skirt!

Hillary to Barack: We're not really that different afterall!
Barack to Hillary: You're right! Lets dance together.


And so, they danced the night away. Edwards, duly impressed, said for some reason "my dad worked in a saw mill." And with that he flew away never to be seen again.




Hillary to Barack: That didn't make any sense did it?
Barack to Hillary: No. Can't say it did.